I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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