You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
