Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Are my feet made of real feet?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
