But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
