Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
