i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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