who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
