we're making bets on your personal life
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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