I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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