Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
