My hair reeks of homosexuality.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
