Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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