That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
