Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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