my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize