when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
