I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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