ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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