How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize