so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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