we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
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You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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