I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
operation have a gay friend backfired
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
