This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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