my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
