there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
