Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
