Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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