If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
