whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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