How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
