I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
