Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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