Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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