dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
