He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
