dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
