'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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