I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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