I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
