I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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