You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
