So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My bed smells like the plague
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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