I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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