just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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