Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
