Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Who died my cat blue again?
Text me some of your sweat
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
