Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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