i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
