Please, let me fuck your mom
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
