RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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