The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You ate ashes out of my bong
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize