Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
