whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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