My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
