oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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