Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
