Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
