Say something about gay babies.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Your cock deserves a montage
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
