Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
