My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
