They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
