I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
