your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
