She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
