found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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