My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I wish you could order shots online.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
