Im at strip club and am horny
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if only i could text you this smell
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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