so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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