U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
