I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i out mim tonsoeep
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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