There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize